A very difficult week. Heartbroken and distressed at seeing the boys in such a shocking state. Sammy and Benji are displaying extremely worrying signs of disturbance which would ring alarm bells for any psychologist/ doctor that saw them. All the professionals to whom I have described their recent behaviour, have been shocked and concerned.
However, as I do not have custody, I am not entitled to ‘interfere’ in any way in their medical welfare. All I can do is continue sending applications to the court for the children to be urgently assessed. My lawyer has written repeatedly to the judge, since January 2012! that the children are extremely disturbed and in a very worrying state. They are not developing, are not talking, their teeth were going worse and worse, until Sammy’s 4 front teeth were eventually removed in April. Even as something as drastic as an operation to remove a 2 year old’s teeth has not prompted the judge to take any action! The father never produced any dental records or explanations to account for this serious operation.
The Social Services have not made any house visits for months. When they received danger reports, instead of immediately going to see the children unannounced, they instead telephoned the father to inform him that they had been alerted that the boys were in a critical state. He assured them ‘everything was fine,’ which they accepted without any investigation of their own. They took no further action and even closed the case!
When I cried to the judge that I am given no information about my children’s welfare, I have no idea who their doctor is and the father has even banned me from the kindergarten, she responded, ‘Well actually, Frau Schlesinger, you are not entitled to any of that information because you do not have custody.’ In other words, I have no rights.
Despite my very restricted role in my children’s lives, I try my best to do as much as I possibly can with them in the very short time I have, to at least give them a few hours of happiness and enjoyment with their mother. It is tragic that even these attempts are thwarted. On Sunday we had a lovely time at the Chanuka party until my time with the boys ran out. As the party started at 3pm, we were only able to spend one hour there. Despite requests to extend the visit so that the boys could enjoy a little more of the party, or even to arrange the handover there, permission was not granted. Instead, we had to return to the visiting centre which is 45 minutes away on public transport. The boys were upset and confused at having to leave while all the other children could stay at the party. Another parent, seeing our distress, very kindly gave us a lift so the boys could stay a few more minutes.
I saw them on Tuesday and now have to wait until next Tuesday – a whole week – to see my boys again, all the while worrying and anxious at the state they were in the last visits.