Extracts from the Custody Decision Part 1

One of the reasons the Judge cited as grounds to remove the children from my care, was that I was unable to give my children, on the day of their circumcision, a suppository. The fact that both babies’ nappies were covered in blood, they were bandaged and screaming in agony which any mother would find extremely distressing, was irrelevant.

QUOTE (German extract below)

“Since the parents are practising Jews, the twins had a circumcision. The babies had to be strong enough and first approved by a children’s doctor before the procedure could take place. The mother’s parents were with the young family at this time. After the circumcision, the twins were in a lot of pain. They were given suppositories after the procedure to relieve the pain. On the same evening, the father went to a Bar-Mitzvah party. He participated in the celebration because he knew that the twins were in good hands with their mother and grandparents and deemed the presence of a fourth adult unnecessary.
As the painkillers wore off, the twins woke up and were screaming in pain. The mother and her parents couldn’t give the twins a suppository as they were unfamiliar to them. The mother called the father and asked him for help since he is a doctor and has medical competence. The father explained to her on the phone how to do it. Since the mother could still not manage, the father came home and gave the twins the suppositories himself.
In England suppositories against fever and pain are used. Whether, as the mother claimed, she had never used suppositories before, cannot be proven. The father was furious that the mother had called him and was angry on the telephone. It was totally incomprehensible to him why the mother and her parents were unable to use suppositories….

…….the mother explained the story about the suppositories to show how heartless the father behaved. The father told the story to justify why he was angry and said that it was incomprehensible to him why 3 adults couldn’t manage something as simple as inserting a suppository.

After looking on the website www.medicines.org.uk/EMC under paracetamol, I found that suppositories are used in England to relieve pain. This has not been clarified by British children’s doctors, but that is of no great consequence to the discussion.

The father was right to believe that using a suppository, especially after explaining how to do it on the phone, is not difficult. With boys, there is only one opening. The worst that can happen is that the baby pushes the suppository out again when it doesn’t pass the sphincter, in which case you just have to start again and push it in deeper.

The fact that the mother was unable to cope with this situation and made a big deal of it, demonstrates that she was unable to cope with daily situations (of child care).”


Extracts from the Custody Decision Part 1 — 7 Comments

  1. Hi Beth, I have read this latest transcript about the circumsision. I don’t know German and so can’t understand the whole of it. The father sounds so cruel. He should have been with you after you had your babies and not have left you to cope. I had a similar situation when my son was born. My husband celebrated whilst I was taken back into hospital with him all alone. That said. I feel that your lawyers should have been able to fight your case. Your lawyers have let you down badly. I reiterate that you need to find a new Lawyer. Competition is always good and if you appoint another Lawyer he will want to prove himself that he is better than the one before him and show the world how good he is. Your Lawyer is complacent and cannot be that good, otherwise your boys would be back with you. Probably would not have been taken away in the first place. You and your boys also have Human Rights!Keep going you will succeed. Best wishes Gillian

    • Liz Gordon
      Your really up against it Beth … What irrational, relentless people are you dealing with – I was a wreck at both my boys bris Milah , I couldn’t even change their 1st nappy I was so distressed by it all!!! You sound like you were a perfectly normal mother on the day of your boys bris!! And twins! I can’t imagine the agony xx

      Liz Gordon
      How dare he have been at a bar mitzvah !!!

      Rachel Steiner
      I cannot believe the judge can even use this. He who I can’t bear to name should have been with his twins not out galavanting! My husband would have come home immediately to help! He wouldn’t have been furious!

      Rachel Steiner
      Who fxxks off to a bar mitzvah when they have newborn twins and throws a tantrum when made to come home!

      Chani Stern
      what a load of codswallop!!!! you couldn’t put in a suppository so you are an incapable parent??? and yes why was he out enjoying himself when his twin babies were suffering at home and his wife has just given birth to twins and then he has the chutzpah to be annoyed at being called home?!?!?

      Chani Stern
      tell me, is that judge a parent? has she ever seen a small baby or even a child in her life?

      Rachel Steiner
      Bloody hell suppositories are a nightmare to get used to! And they pop out.

      Rachel Steiner
      It’s really scary with the first child !

      Rachel Steiner
      You have got to get a new judge

      Chani Stern
      no the judge has to get a new life

      Rachel Steiner
      My boy barely noticed his Brit – who did this job? He wasn’t screaming in pain !

      Liz Gordon
      Also true my boys were also not screaming at all after bris ! I was just a mess !

      Beth Alexander
      he was angry at me that because of me ‘he missed dessert’

      Beth Alexander
      this bris was barbaric, they were screaming in agony for 2 weeks

      Chani Stern
      what about you? you missed the whole meal???

      Marie Kessel
      What sort of father was he to leave you and the boys when most needed…..but now it’s a different story as he’s got custody making out he’s the most perfect father!!!!! It’s you those two little boys should be with NOT HIM!!!

      Dalia ‘Khan’ Biegel
      That is ridiculous! How dare they! My sister in law changed my son’s first nappy post bris because I couldn’t even look, let alone put in a suppository! And it took a few times of practice and help before I could put in a suppository. This is absurd!

      Melanie Youle Shahmoon I can’t believe what I read here. Suppositories are not commonly used in the UK, I have only ever used one once and was given it by someone who obtained it from abroad, it was paracetamol for Yom Kippur. I’ve never used suppositories on a baby or chi…See More

      Lisa Goldman
      i dont believe what i am reading, which one is the child. …AUSTRIAN JUSTICE STINKS!!

      Lisa Goldman ahh diddums what a choice strudel or ur children…sounds like eisav ….oy judge the ‘father’ made his choice!

      Liz Gordon
      I can’t get my head around how this evidence holds up in a courtroom for them to decide the children are best with him ….

      Osh Massias
      I just want to scream out of frustration for you Beth – plsget yourself a new lawyer!!! How can this not have been challenged???

      Tessa Davis
      Beth that custody extract is obscene on so many levels. I’m a paediatric doctor and mum of three from the uk and I’ve never given a suppository. When my son had his bris we only used oral pain relief – it’s certainly not commonplace in the uk!

      Beth Alexander

      I have a new lawyer, a criminal lawyer who is doing everything he can

      Osh Massias
      Beth does your ex have an email address?

      Liz Gordon
      Think a new judge is on order she’s the final decision maker and she’s blatantly shown her incapability of making a sane decision x
      about an hour ago via mobile ·

      Melanie Youle Shahmoon
      You really need to bring the big boys in now, by this I mean top UK lawyers, even if it costs. I’m sure people will donate money. Top London Lawyers are the only way now.
      about an hour ago · Like · 3

      Melanie Youle Shahmoon
      Also, what’s wrong with giving painkillers orally? Clearly folk on the continent like shoving things up their arses!
      about an hour ago ·

      Rachel Steiner
      Perrrvy! Actually before my son’s brit we gave a small amount of acamoli (paracetamol liquid) through a sterilised bottle teet. It was fantastic.
      about an hour ago ·

      Osh Massias
      Beth, iknow you dont want to give his email address out but i think pressure from us will show him how vile he is….. Dont be afraid….also i dont know which michael it is on facebook… Can u post a picture? Name and shame!!!!!!!!!
      about an hour ago ·

      Melanie Youle Shahmoon Mishcon De Reya have a good track record and one of the larger UK Law firms who have dealt with Jewish cases before.

      Bernice Cohen
      most British people have never used suppositories.

      Leah G. Goodman
      As an American, the first time someone gave my daughter a suppository (a caregiver who wasn’t allowed to give ANY medicine), I had a strong urge to call the police. For my son’s brit, I did give him acamoli in a bottle…. On the other hand, this whole thing proves how badly out of hand the whole situation has gotten. My husband and I wouldn’t even remember an event like this, much less drag it through the courts.

      Emily Benedek
      WTF I have two boys and never inserted a suppository in 4 years. Does that make me. An incompetent mother I certainly hope not. How can you make a legal decision based on something you read on the Internet. Wow am in shock. And don’t even get me started on going to a bar mitzvah with week old twins. Your children are and always will be your priority not some stupid meal

      Miriam Kelaty
      I was distressed at my boys brit, because of their father, my nanny took care of the dressings for both and said she took care of many and the mothers did not (she specialised in twins), I have never given my babies supositories and would ave been terrified when so small.. this is clearly ludicrous what happened, he should not go out the night 2 babies had a brit… something is wrong that a court uses this incident against the mother.. should clearly be against him…

      Miriam Kelaty
      As the mother of twin boys I am willing to give you any support necessary….. I will stand in court and tell them what it is all about..

      Miriam Kelaty
      .. and how twin baby boys need their mother…

      Miriam Kelaty
      he is a very bad man to do this… not only to you.. your family etc.. but to is own children because he is selfish and evil.. u must get better legal help.

      Rachel Steiner
      Here in Israel we use suppositories and liquid . I was terrified the first time. It is a hard push to know which is worse: when they spit out the liquid or their bums emit the suppository. Having trouble the first time you shove a suppository up a baby’s bottom is not a reason to take two twins away!

      Louise Winton
      He should never have left you and gone to a Bar Mitzvah – that should have been the last thing on his mind… I had the doctor come and help with both my boys. Did he miss desserth then – diddums!

      Naomi Sopher
      I wanted to leave a post on the website but could not log in right now. As a uk trained doctor and the daughter of two general practitioners in the uk I would like to stress that suppositories are rarely used in the uk for pain relief especially in suc…See More

      Lauren Goldstone
      As more of what happened has been divulged please not get too personal and scoop this this guys level with threats and openly bad mouthing. Let our views be impartial and supportive x

      Rachel Steiner
      I have literally realised. Sammy and Benji were born about two weeks before Ori.

      Rachel Steiner
      They were born around the 30th of June 2009. Ori was born on the 16th of May. when I look at my son, it is impossible not to think now of Sammy and Benji and compare.

      Beth Alexander
      does ori speak? is he in nappies?

      Rachel Steiner
      Yes he is potty trained. At two years old he only had ten words be cause like the twins he comes from a bilingual background . However now at 3.5 he speaks in full sentences and you can have a conversation with him. He also understands English and is starting a few sentences in English. However both my children had language confusion at 2 years old. Maayan simply couldn’t decide what language to answer in.

      No child of mine was going to be in nappies by their third birthday.

      Rivka Baram Rubinstein
      Some kids don’t toilet train when u want them to. So saying “my child won’t be in nappies after 3” could end up with 3 year old not being in nappies but having accidents everyday in their underwear. I think it’s only after 5 years old that you can say it”s a medical issue or something really serious. As for after the bris. I remember with my son we needed two people to change his nappy especially at the beginning to make sure that it was done as gently as possible and to cause less pain. I don’t think I did it on my own for the first 2 days at least. As for pain relief, I never use suppositories, I find them rather cruel when there isn’t a need (child vomiting) A father who swans off to a b-mitzvah and gets annoyed when he gets a call from his wife who is looking after 2 post bris twins is just selfish and shows how he couldn’t care less about his wife or his kids. I wouldn”t say he can’t go out as it might have been important to show his face. But, then u don”t stay for ages and you don’t get annoyed when you are called home. He sounds like a spoilt child, not a father of 2 kids. Sadly I think the austrian legal system is corrupt and the judge should be struck off.

      Rachel Steiner Sorry I meant that I think the twins should be potty trained by the father –

      Melanie Youle Shahmoon
      The key here it to get your Lawyer to put it all in writing to your ex-husband and German Health authorities. You have a right to ask why the children seem unkempt and not dressed neatly, why their hair is not trimmed and scalp looking healthy. All this need to be put in a strongly worded letter and ask how the authorities are going to deal with it.
      4 hours ago via mobile · Like

      Rachel Steiner
      The point is that the ability not to put a suppository in at a week post partum is normal and says nothing about a woman’s parenting skills! Absurd evidence. But the fact a father moans about coming home to deal with week old twins is bizarre to my eyes to say the least!

      Edwina Sarita Lawford
      how on earth does that deem you unfit to look after your children- it may seems simple to him as he’s a doctor but any layman wouldn’t have a clue! really incomprehensible!

      Chani Stern
      unbelievable that he’s a doctor, shouldn’t dr’s be sympathetic kind of people? i personally wouldn’t want to be a patient of his

      Melanie Sackwild I’ve got 4 kids and the eldest one is10 and I’ve never given a suppository! They aren’t really given in England!

      Esther Atkins
      This post made me particularly sad. Not being confident to insert a suppository definitely does not make you a bad mother. The judge clearly has no idea is is not common to use suppositories in this country. I’m a paediatrician and we use them in A+E sometimes but oral is always first choice as dosing is more accurate. In any case as a first time parent it can be very daunting when your baby is screaming in pain and sometimes you just need the reassurance of your partner (which you clearly didn’t have). Seems the judge is very misguided and unaware of the psychological damage she may be doing to your children. Hoping you get a speedy resolution very soon

      Tamara Gerrard
      From every childcare specialist I have spoken to in Uk, suppositories are much less commonly used in the Uk compared to the rest of Europe.
      This is also demonstrated by the huge difference in price. Paracetamol suppositories are far FAR more expensive than oral painkillers for children!!!
      Despite several attempts on my own children, I am still unable to use them. I have mentioned this to my GP and my ability as a mother has never been brought into question because of this!!!
      The question should be, why he clearly did not feel strongly enough connected to his children to forgo celebrations and stay to comfort them instead???

  2. The truth is that he should never have left you to go to a Bar Mitzvah. To go to work is a necessity but to go and party at a Bar Mitzvah when his place was to be at home and give of himself with love and support to help you and to look after both the babies is absolutely outragous. He had he cheek to be angry becasue he was disturbed…. The judge should see the children now if she is so concerned about their welfare! This she has helped to cause. She should at the least hang her head in shame at what she has done.

  3. What cold hearted RUBBISH. A husband, especially after his wife gives birth, and especially after his babies’ traumatic brit, is meant to be loving and supportive and PRESENT! The NORMAL thing to do would be either to stay home in the first place or at least come back home to help immediately – without kicking up a fuss. I mean, who is the unstable, immature one ’round here? Who is really showing their incapability of being a supportive and competent parent? If this is how he is with his wife, why wouldn’t he be the same with his children – getting angry if they ask help for something which, from their father’s perspective, they are ‘expected’ to be able to do??? “Austrian justice stinks.” Indeed. There really is something rotten here – and this judge will have to answer to many questions…How unprofessional is this? – “After looking on the website http://www.medicines.org.uk/EMC under paracetamol, I found that suppositories are used in England to relieve pain. This has not been clarified by British children’s doctors, but that is of no great consequence to the discussion.” Very clever – she looked on a website. Sure, maybe suppositories are used in hospitals but ask the average parent, doctor, pharmacy – – – they are not commonly used or prescribed at all! I suffered, and continue to suffer, from migraines from time to time and have always used suppositories but they are not from England. We always had family send them over from France. So how is it “irrelevant” to clarify this matter with British children’s doctors? This is professional misconduct – she has not done sufficient research. Plus, you cannot prove a mother’s caring abilities by using a subjective example such as “the ease of following instructions re: how to insert a suppository.” I mean, this is laughable and pathetic. As a mother, and as grandparents, Beth and her parents were demonstrating due care and active involvement in the caring process by calling the father and requesting assistance. Successful parenting is not being an independent superwoman. It is approaching your children’s care with love and dedication, which includes, at times, being able to seek help and reaching out to others (how much more so, to one’s spouse!!!!!) for assistance. With G-d’s help, and with the support of so very many people, may Beth’s children return to their loving, dedicated mother, soon.

  4. I am a GP in London. Paracetamol suppositories are available to buy but are rarely used by British parents. I would not expect adults raised in the uk to be familiar with using these. They tend to be used in A+E if a child cannot take oral medication or if a child cannot take oral medication and the parent is familar and comfortable with using suppositories and has been shown what to do.
    The medicines and healthcare products regulatory agency (MHRA) publish online all the available information on paracetamol suppositories. The leaflet specifically says their use is for children to unable to take tablets or syrup. It also says if your childs doctor or pharmacist has told you how to use this medicine do exactly as they have told you. Otherwise follow the instructions. If you do not understand the instructions or are not sure, ask the doctor or pharmacist
    My comments on this information are; as a doctor I would not expect a parent to be using paracetamol suppositories without having been shown how and without checking they were comfortable with this method of administering medication. It is universal practice in the UK to use paracetamol syrup as analgesia after a Brit and I would not expect Beth or her parents to know how to use suppositories. They did the correct and safe thing, acted in the best interests of the boys and asked for expert help. It is unbelievable that this has been twisted as criticism against them.

  5. Following on to what Esther said. The babies had just had their Brit and were sore in that area. Why were suppositories even suggested as a pain relief, when an oral painkiller would have been so much more comfortable for them. The father was so evil to just go and leave his two young sons in pain, particularly as he is a doctor! Beth did the right thing by not inflicting more pain on her two sons by trying to insert the suppositories. Beth’s Lawyers should have defended her. They let her down.
    Judges don’t always get it right! An English judge was reprimanded this week, for complimenting a burglar for having the courage to burgle! Its not just in Vienna that judges are crazy!Lets hope Beths new Lawyers will get in right and get the babies returned to Beth

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